A Personal Reflection On Prayer

A Personal Reflection On Prayer

We all know that person who, when they pray, seems to have an extraordinary ability to express themselves so naturally, eloquently, and beautifully. Their words flow effortlessly, their thoughts are organized, and they seem to know exactly what to say. I can assure you that person is not me! Instead, my prayers are often much closer to a collection of grunts, groans, scattered thoughts, and unfinished sentences that I sometimes wonder whether anyone could understand. I am confident, however, that God understands them perfectly, even when I struggle to put my thoughts into words. 

Perhaps that is something we need to understand about prayer. We are not all gifted with the same eloquence as others, but regardless of how we express ourselves, God knows our hearts, our thoughts, our concerns, and our needs long before we manage to put them into words—or even grunts.

The Apostle Paul reminds us in Romans 8:26–27, that we do not always know what we ought to pray for, but that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness and intercedes according to the will of God. While Paul’s reference to groanings too deep for words concerns the Spirit’s intercession, rather than simply our inability to express ourselves, the passage provides tremendous encouragement to those of us who sometimes struggle to find the right words. I personally find that particularly comforting because, just as a loving earthly father can often understand the concerns of his child even when that child struggles to explain them, how much more does our heavenly Father understand those who come before Him?

There are two particular areas where I struggle with prayer. The first is what I call “preaching to the choir.” This is where I sometimes find it difficult to express my requests without feeling as though I am telling God something He already knows or urging Him to demonstrate compassion He already possesses. However, I have come to approach this with honesty and sincerity, recognizing that God already knows my needs, my circumstances, and even the desires of my heart. So I simply ask Him for what I would like, trusting that He knows what is best. And if His plans are different from what I have asked, then I pray for the peace, strength, and understanding to accept and endure whatever circumstances He allows. After all, my confidence is not that God will always give me what I ask for, but that His wisdom, love, and compassion are infinitely greater than my own.

The second has to do with prayer chains. I am happy to add my prayers for the needs of others, particularly for those who may not or cannot pray for themselves. However, when it comes to prayer chains, I struggle with any suggestion that God is somehow more likely to answer the prayers of a hundred people than He is to answer the prayer of that one individual in need. Nevertheless, Scripture repeatedly instructs us to pray for one another, and I personally believe that one important purpose – of perhaps many – of this instruction is not to increase God’s compassion or willingness to answer, but rather to increase our own awareness, compassion, and concern for the needs of others. When someone shares a prayer request, people who might otherwise have known nothing about the circumstances become aware of another person’s needs or suffering. Their attention is drawn beyond their own concerns, encouraging them to think about, care for, and pray for someone else.

This reminds me of something a friend of mine named Nick said at a prayer meeting many years ago. His questions challenged the way I thought about praying for others, and they have remained with me ever since. As was customary, at the prayer meeting, the pastor would ask the congregation if anyone had a prayer request. One by one, people would raise their hands, and the pastor would invite each person to share what they wanted the congregation to pray about.

I was always humbled by how many of those requests were not for the individuals themselves, but for others who were struggling or in need. Someone might ask us to pray for a person experiencing financial difficulties. Another might ask for prayer for an elderly person experiencing difficulty finding transportation to the grocery store, to Church or to medical appointments. Sometimes the requests concerned someone who was sick, someone experiencing loneliness, a family experiencing hardship, or a person facing circumstances beyond their ability to manage alone. It was encouraging to see so many people willing to pray and ask God for His help.

It was during this one particular prayer meeting, that a friend of mine named Nick raised his hand. When the pastor invited him to speak, Nick asked a question that has remained with me to this day. “Why are we asking God to do the very things He has entrusted to us? Should we not be the ones providing financial assistance to those in need? Should we not be the ones offering transportation to people who have no way of getting to the grocery store or their medical appointments? Should we not be making sure that no one is left alone or goes uncomforted?

I cannot remember Nick’s exact words after all these years, but I have never forgotten the substance of his questions or the conviction they brought upon me. Nick’s questions challenged me to consider something I had previously overlooked. How often do we ask God to provide for someone’s needs without first considering whether God has already provided the means, the opportunity, and the responsibility for us as His Church to help meet those needs ourselves?

Consider what James tells us: James 2:15–16: “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?” James is not condemning prayer, nor is he suggesting that we should depend upon our own resources rather than God. He is confronting the inconsistency of recognizing someone’s need, possessing the opportunity to help, and yet responding with words alone.

The Apostle John makes a similar point: 1 John 3:17–18: “But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” These passages remind us that genuine faith and love are not merely expressed through what we say or even what we pray. They are also demonstrated through how we respond to the needs God places before us. 

History provides a remarkable example of what it means to put our faith into action. During the second and third centuries, devastating epidemics swept through the Roman Empire, bringing widespread sickness, suffering, and death. Fear of infection caused many people to flee, and countless sick and dying individuals were left without anyone willing to care for them.

Yet historical accounts tell us that many Christians responded differently. Rather than abandoning those who were suffering, they cared for the sick, provided food and assistance, tended to the dying, and helped those whom others had left behind. They did so despite knowing that their own lives were at risk. Indeed, some contracted the diseases themselves and died while caring for others.

One particularly moving account comes from Dionysius, the bishop of Alexandria, who described Christians tending to the sick without regard for their own safety. Their actions were not limited to expressions of sympathy or promises of prayer. They demonstrated their love through personal sacrifice, even when that sacrifice could cost them their lives.

I have little doubt that these Christians prayed earnestly for God to protect them, heal the sick, and bring an end to the terrible suffering surrounding them. Yet they also understood something that my friend Nick’s questions helped me recognize many centuries later: Praying for God to relieve someone’s suffering does not relieve us of our responsibility to help when we have the means and opportunity to do so.

What makes this historical account even more remarkable is that the early Church continued to grow during these difficult centuries. Historians have identified the extraordinary compassion and practical assistance Christians extended to others, including those outside their own communities, as one of the factors that contributed to Christianity’s growth. Their willingness to care for the suffering provided a visible demonstration of the love they professed and the faith they proclaimed.

Think about that for a moment. These Christians did not possess the medical knowledge, treatments, or resources available to us today. They could not eliminate the epidemics, and they could not guarantee that those they helped would survive. But they could offer food, comfort, companionship, practical assistance, and care. And that is precisely what many of them did.

Their example raises an important question for us today. How often do we pray that God will send someone to help a person in need without considering whether we ourselves might be the very people He has equipped to provide that help?

There will always be circumstances beyond our ability to change, and we should never underestimate the importance of bringing those circumstances before God in prayer. But when God has already provided us with the resources, abilities, and opportunities to help someone, our responsibility does not end with asking Him to intervene.

Perhaps one of the greatest lessons we can learn from these early Christians is that prayer and action belong together. We can ask God to provide for those in need while also being willing to share what He has provided to us.

After all, what greater testimony of God’s love can we offer than to demonstrate that love through our own willingness to serve others?